Satellite image of a suspected hijacked tanker at anchor off the Somali coast at Garacad, near Eyl, Puntland, September 2008. (UNOSAT photo)

Yo-ho-ho and a barrel of toxic waste.

When the U.S. loses money and loses face, you know that Somalia's pirates are as doomed as their starving and poisoned countrymen.

Add to the situation that the world press is mostly ignoring the other side of the story in chaotic Somalia — the reasons that some Somalis might be desperate enough to become pirates.

And then add the fact that this is the first reported hijacking of a U.S. merchant vessel by pirates since the Barbary Coast pirates roamed the north African seas 200 years ago and made Stephen Decatur and the Battle of Tripoli part of U.S. elementary-school lore.

And now we're sending in the big guns. As allAfrica.com reports this morning:

Most stories about the current piracy imply that most of the hijacked ships were simply going about the business of carrying desperately needed humanitarian supplies to Somalia. But there's another side to the story pointed out by the U.S. African Chamber of Commerce — surely making history as the first U.S. business group to openly endorse piracy of the open-seas, skiffs vs. tankers variety.

This morning, seven Somalis denied charges of piracy lodged against them in a Mombasa court. Why, you ask, are they being tried in Kenya? A Xinhua story explains:

Check out CNN's story, "Somali pirates take in millions from kidnappings," on Anderson Cooper's hysteria-filled interview with a former Navy SEAL about the piracy.

Also see this passage from an Agence France Presse story:

Now, read "Inside a pirate network" from IRIN (the U.N. news service) in which two alleged pirates are interviewed about, among other things, the money angle of this spate of hijackings and ransoms.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton chimed in yesterday when she told reporters during a visit with Morocco's foreign minister, "we worked together to end piracy off of the coast of Morocco all those years ago, and we're going to work together to end this kind of criminal activity anywhere on the high seas."

Other criminal activities that she neglected to mention that are aimed at Somalia are the illegal dumping by foreign vessels of barrels of toxic waste off the Somali coast and fishing in Somali waters by foreign vessels that is destroying the last shreds of the country's legal economy.

The pirates are portraying themselves as "businessmen," which probably overstates their case, although in lawless Somalia, where the life expectancy is only 46 years, they're practically their country's only functioning economy.

As we know from Wall Street's meltdown and subsequent bailout shenanigans that hold taxpayers hostage, just because the Somalis in their skiffs are businessmen doesn't mean that they aren't also pirates.