Philadelphia Inquirer staffers are maintaining a sense of humor about their bankrupt paper — even if their mood is getting darker and darker. The headline atop today's Jobbing column: "Prevent workplace deaths. Lay off workers."

The Inquirer is being drawn and quartered by various creditors, and its takeover by a real-estate mogul seems imminent. (Read the paper's own story here.) The Inquirer's already been shredded by layoffs, like almost every other paper. So if Jobbing columnist Jane Von Bergen's lead paragraph on a story abut workplace fatalities sounds a little breathless, maybe she just climbed down from a ledge:

The report and its accompanying statistical breakdowns indicate that no CEOs recently jumped off buildings or were shot to death in their corner offices.