The quest for the "perfect vagina" — the growing trend of labial surgery — is fraught with peril, according to a new report in a British medical journal.
But the increasingly popular surgery (the 2008 video above has been viewed 3 million times), which clips flesh for a neater (and critics say "more pubescent") look down there, is yet another boon to the $30 billion cosmetic-surgery industry.
Cocaine! Shiksas! Oy! Put yourself in Bernie Madoff's office space. See page 47 of the new amended complaint in Wexler v. Tremont.
When Bernie Madoff wasn't slapping on his yarmulke to go rip off fellow Jews, he was using their money to slap the bare asses of shiksa strippers and escorts and fill his nose with cocaine. Right there in his offices in the Lipstick Building. And he was letting his feeder-fund pals into the fun.
Shiksas gone wild! No wonder the guy didn't make a single trade. He didn't have time. That's the story in court papers filed just yesterday in the monumental Wexler case against the Ponzi schemer.
Check out the new filings in the New York state court case, Wexler v. Tremont Partners. It's free reading, but you have jump through some hoops. Start here, use this case number, 101615/2009, and go to the October 20 amended complaint.
Sometimes, like in the case of David Letterman, hubris is a good thing. At least Letterman hasn't caused the economy to crash, as those hubristic Wall Street goniffs's egos did.
For a successful extortion, see the case of Nevada Senator John Ensign, whose tit-for-tat deal with an aide went like this: Ensign fucked the aide's wife. When that became public, the aide quit. Then Ensign pulled strings to set the aide up in a great lobbying gig. The aide knew exactly what was happening: a quim pro quo deal.
David Letterman made the right business decision last night, although not necessarily the correct one, when the $30-million-a-year TV host exposed an alleged extortion attempt in front of astonished and immediately sympathetic viewers on his TV show. A person tried to blackmail Letterman — he says — because he screwed female staffers.
Several good screwings deserved another, the alleged extortionist (who supposedly threatened to write a screenplay) must have thought, if the story's true.
Letterman didn't do what could have been the correct thing: Pay the money. The guy does, after all, make at least that $30 million a year — even more than the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez, and Letterman's much more lovable.
On the other hand, once you pay a blackmailer, the extortion may never stop. Just ask Michael Jackson — if you pry him off little boys wherever he is now.
Instead, Letterman did the smart thing. The only possibly bad decision Letterman made was to have sex with staffers, any one of whom could have written a tell-all, unless he arranged a nondisclosure agreement, which he probably didn't. That's what you get when you foul your own nest instead of going elsewhere for your poontang.
In a business sense, Letterman handled it brilliantly. Fucking employees (unless they're fellow execs) is standard business practice, whether or not sex is involved. But this was the smartest bailout in at least the past year, and Letterman did it himself, with no boost from taxpayers. He used the alleged extortion attempt as a shtick on his show last night. He wound up admitting that he fucked staffers. He garnered really high ratings during a sweep period, making his bosses deliriously happy because their franchise is also intact. He told his audience: "I want to reiterate how terrifying this moment was . . . was I going to get a tap on the shoulder? I am motivated by nothing but guilt." And he earned admiring headlines, like "Letterman creates brilliant hour of TV from woes."
Beautiful. Bill Clinton should have done the same thing, instead of lying about having sex with "that woman."
Bailout of Wall Street execs gets personal: Aussie drug company Acrux will ask FDA to let it sell Axiron, an underarm spray that boosts testosterone. Global markets for testosterone treatments, story says, is $1 billion a year and has risen up, up, up by more than 20 percent in the U.S. Meanwhile, "U.S. Drug Companies Chase Vaccines," WSJ says of impending flu profits.
You could call it a series of feel-good events: lists and "summits" of the world's most powerful and best-paid women. Forbes did it, Fortune did it, Bloomberg promoted the Forbes list, Warren Buffett spoke at a "women's summit" and so on.
This stuff just compares women with women, marginalizes women, and ultimately keeps them down by placing them in an artificially separate category.
It's difficult enough for women to be paid as much as men (which they aren't) and to have an equal shot at attaining power. Giving them a separate list is condescending and irrelevant. It's like the Negro League and the major leagues. Not to mention that the business press regularly ignores most women execs (except when writing about them as women execs) and focuses on the testosterone-laced guys.
In any case, how many average Americans know who Safra Catz is? In Fortune's eyes, she's the top-paid female exec and the 12th most powerful woman. Catz is the president of Oracle and her 2008 compensation totaled $42.4 million. Check out the list of the 25 highest-paid corporate women and compare it with the list of the 25 highest-paid men. Catz made $42.4 million, and the No. 1 guy, Aubrey McClendon, chief of Chesapeake Energy, raked in $112.5 million. If I were Safra Catz, I'd be pissed off.
Then there's Kraft CEO Irene Rosenfeld, who's directing the assault on Cadbury. Not exactly a household name, Rosenfeld would be if much of the business press didn't have blinders on when it comes to female execs.
At least the Forbes "Top 100 Most Powerful Women" list includes politicians and so on, which means the likes of Angela Merkel, chief of the world's fourth-largest economy, make it. But, talk about segregation. The staffers who put together that list are entirely, 100 percent all women. Aren't we past Helen Reddy yet? That aside, it's an interesting list.
Most of these other lists, the ones focused only on the business world, are just identity politics and identity business, and luckily it's just a phase the world has to go through on the way to equal opportunity. Maybe.
The press of course can't be blamed for blaring the Madoff saga, especially now that the sex angle has penetrated the money angle. But enough already. We already have too many mental images of Bernie Madoff having sex.
Great piece in this morning's WSJ, "Insider Affair: An SEC Trial of the Heart," on how an Ernst & Young partner, James Gansman, wound up convicted of securities fraud in an insider-trading case.
All Gansman was looking for was a little illicit sex. He got much, much more. The WSJ's Dennis Berman read the transcripts of Gansman's little-publicized trial this past spring. The result is a must-read tale of hubris.