The Yes Men punked the Chamber of Commerce yesterday in D.C. See the phony press conference in which the "Chamber" suddenly embraced climate-change legislation.

Is global warming a hoax? At last the obstinate business group finds evidence that it can be. The Heene family couldn't be reached for comment.

Bank of America to Pay for Merrill Backstop, Faces SEC Trial (Bloomberg)

Ken Lewis trying hard to buy his way out of trouble, saying BofA will pay $425 million to cancel one piece of unused federal guarantee of Merrill Lynch's assets. Lewis frantically trying to reduce "reliance on government support and return to normal market funding." Will it help fend off the government? SEC says it will "vigorously pursue" its bonuses case against the bank, and maybe the SEC means business now that federal judge Jed Rakoff is on the agency's back.

Liquidation of CDOs aids banks (FT)

Market has loosened up for the assets underlying the complex, toxic securities that crashed Wall Street. An estimated $123 billion of these bullshit, defaulted securities that fed the Street's excessive greed have been liquidated.

Is This a Sucker's Rally? (Seeking Alpha, Jeff Miller)

A good roundup of bloviations good and bad.

Why haven't any Wall Street tycoons been sent to the slammer? (McClatchy, Kevin G. Hall)

In search of a "poster child for the Great Recession." Hank Paulson's always a candidate.

Envoy seeks to ditch 'bullying' US image (FT)

Louis Susman, Obama fundraiser and now U.S. ambassador to the U.K., announces that the Bush Era is officially over: "We are not a dumb power, we are not a bullying power." He adds: "To compare it to the previous relationship, well, some people might say that relationship wasn't healthy. Many people here in the UK didn't think it was healthy because it was without questioning and interaction."

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Credit card issuers boost rates ahead of tougher rules (L.A. Times)

Banks "are getting their shots in while they can," says a prominent observer. More: "For the three months that ended June 30, U.S. households on average carried a credit card balance of $7,987, down from a high of $8,529 in the third quarter of last year, according to Moody's Economy.com."

The Coming Recovery Will Most Likely Not Be Robust (Seeking Alpha, Tom Lindmark)

Parsing IMF Chief Economist Olivier Blanchard's prediction that the Great Recession has permanently damaged economic growth.

Time Warner, YouTube Reach Video, Ad Rev Agreement (WSJ)

Small picture: Google on the march to make its YouTube unit show a profit. Big picture: Latest in a series of pacts that will allow advertisers to make big footprints on the Internet. (See also "YouTube Pumps More Ads Into Lineup.") Bad news for network TV; great news for bloggers looking to spice up their sites. Even better news: Adult Swim clips will be available on YouTube.

US Life Expectancy Reaches All Time High (Medical News Today)

Is that good news or bad news? We're up to nearly 78, so we'll be even crankier for even longer and will cause more traffic accidents. We'll also require more health care for longer, and you'll have to pay for it.

Princeton, Harvard Share Top Spot in U.S. News College Rankings (Bloomberg)

Meaningless ratings (except for the huge PR value) by the ailing U.S. News & World Report yield the usual suspects. This account by Oliver Staley is an unusually thorough look at a highly (and humorously) flawed process during which schools are increasingly accused of "manipulating" their admission policies to impress an increasing irrelevant news magazine. More scary is that colleges are now judging prospective students by their "personalities," as the WSJ reports. (Mark me down for a trade school.)

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The White House deal with Big Pharma undermines democracy (Salon, Robert Reich)

Little guy who was a big wheel in Clinton administration is "appalled" that the Obama administration "has promised Big Pharma that any healthcare legislation will bar the government from using its huge purchasing power to negotiate lower drug prices." Accurately points out: "Any bonanza for the drug industry means higher healthcare costs for the rest of us."

Plea Is Due From Aide to Madoff (WSJ)

Frank DiPascali we're talking about, but still unclear whether he'll testify against others. Some of Bernie Madoff's "highest-profile investors" might want to enjoy their August vacations while they can.

Fed Focusing on Real-Estate Recession (Bloomberg)

"The collapse in commercial real estate is preventing Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke from declaring the economy and financial markets are healed."

Paulson's Calls to Goldman Tested Ethics (NYT)

That's putting it mildly. Details on what we already strongly suspected: that Hank Paulson doled out aid "that directly benefited his former firm." Records show that Paulson was constantly on the phone during the crucial days of last September with current Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein.

The me-first, screw-everyone-else crowd: Nothing will keep the rich from whining about how tough easy street is (Salon, David Sirota)

When they "scream" that business taxes simply can't be hiked, you should say, "Here's the smallest violin in the world playing for the businesses."

Debt Burden to Weigh on Stocks (WSJ)

"The economy isn't strong enough to support a long-running stock and bond recovery, despite hopeful signs, many warn," especially because, "as consumers cut borrowing and boost savings, they can't be reliable drivers of growth."

Foreigners See Dubai's Dark Side (WashPost)

"In economic slump, those who arrived seeking riches now face a prison cell or furtive flight." Dubai's rulers "hunt for foreign culprits to blame for the sheikdom's sliding economic fortunes, and "among those who have been locked up are a JPMorgan investment banker; American, British and other foreign property developers; a German yachtmaker; and two Australians who worked as senior executives of what was to be the world's largest waterfront development."

Sam's Club Tests The Big-Box Bodega (WSJ)

Wal-Mart goes after the Latino market with Más Club big-box stores.

Is Obama Punking Us? (NYT, Frank Rich)

Rips Obama for "old boys' club" of economic advisers, secretive deals on health-care package, etc. "The making of legislative sausage is never pretty. The White House has to give to get. But the cynicism being whipped up among voters is justified. Unlike Hillary Clinton, whose chief presidential campaign strategist unapologetically did double duty as a high-powered corporate flack, Obama promised change we could actually believe in." Verdict so far? Progressively worse.

States End Up Losers in Gambling Pullback (WSJ)

Weak economy and rising unemployment mean fewer gamblers? Hard to believe, but that's what this story says in noting that lottery and casino revenues are down for the first time in many of the 48 states that depend on gambling revenue.

Dish Network Profit Falls 81% in the Second Quarter (WSJ)

Sharp contrast from DirecTV, but no surprise, because Dish "focuses on the lower-end consumer, who is getting squeezed" by the recession.

Chances of Fed Raising Rate? Near Zero (WSJ)

Nice pun, but seriously, folks, there may very well be a rate hike soon — not after this week's Fed meetings but soon. That's what we'll get because of the "surprising dip in unemployment." The average Joe just can't win.

How Uncle Sam Owns Ken Lewis (New York, Heidi N. Moore)

"Implausible" that the government is "ruling Wall Street"? Yeah, maybe. But Ken Lewis, "who has always hoarded power and earned a reputation as a standoffish, acid-tongued loner," is the government's bitch.

Publicis to Buy Microsoft's Razorfish (Reuters)

Big deal in Microsoft's Bing war against Google. Publicis is one of the world's biggest cluster of ad agencies (Leo Burnett and Saatchi & Saatchi, et al.) and will give Microsoft a smokin' deal on display and search ad services. In return, Publicis "increases its position in digital communications." Clever deal.

Rio Spying Cost China Mills $102 Billion, Agency Says (Bloomberg)

Third-largest mining company in the world spied on China steel mills for six years, Chinese government says. Six years? That's all?

Big-shot investment strategist Sandra Boss, ex-wife of "Clark Rockefeller," describes the theory of "woofness" on the witness stand today.

Sandra Boss, the ex-spouse of "Clark Rockefeller" who was so completely bamboozled by the scamster, is often described as a "high-powered financial executive."

After all, she's a senior partner in the London office of McKinsey & Company, and her own bio boasts: "Sandra led McKinsey's work for Senator Schumer and Mayor Bloomberg on the global competitiveness of New York and US financial services."

Judging by her testimony today in her ex-hubby's kidnapping trial, it's no wonder we're in a global financial crisis. If she's an expert, then I'm the Pope of Greenwich Village.

I know that love or something akin to love can make a person stupid, but you have to conclude that Sandra Boss couldn't possibly be an expert in anything if she fell for the bullshit emanating from the ridiculous impostor "Clark Rockefeller."

Here's just one example from her astounding performance today on the witness stand as she was questioned in detail about how the fuck she could have been so brain-dead as to believe some of the shit he said during their 12-year marriage:

That seals it: From now on, "woofness" is a synonym for "bullshit."

You have to understand that as a big-shit investment expert for McKinsey, she takes home $1 million a year and conducts seminars and advises clients, suggesting investment strategies and analyzing the stock markets.

Oh, brother. See this example of her work from a June 2004 International Securities Services Association symposium. It's typical bullshit of its type, but her long-range forecasts are pretty amusing, especially when she talks about investment patterns and their impact on the lucrative industry of servicing securitization instruments and the like.

In this 13-page, pie-chart-besotted "Roadmap to the Future," Clark Rockefeller's ex-wife projected "securities and fund holdings of households and financial institutions (including intermediaries) by asset class and mandate type through 2008 and concluded that "the changes over the next five years are not going to be dramatic."

Woofness.

And in the other grand tradition of auto sales, Mr. and Mrs. Taxpayer took the bait and signed on the dotted line. GM didn't even have to "consult" with its sales manager first to make this deal.

On its very first day in bankruptcy court, GM didn't have to convince anybody of anything. After several years of struggling — and failing — to sell enough cars to stay afloat, GM made its biggest sale ever the minute it was towed into the Manhattan courtroom.

"There's only one prospective purchaser," GM attorney Harvey Miller told [Judge Robert] Gerber, referring to the U.S. government. "There's no entity that has the wherewithal to bid in these cases."

Which makes this not only the world's biggest-ever industrial bankruptcy but also a record amount of industrial corporate welfare. You just bought a huge, poorly run company, and don't believe for one second that the reason GM failed was last year's Wall Street meltdown and subsequent recession.

First, though, Bloomberg has the specifics of the deal:

You'd think that the markets would be shaken by the bankruptcy, but not so, as Chad Brand notes in his Seeking Alpha item "The Market Loves GM Bankruptcy." But then Brand explained yesterday:

Before GM stepped into bankruptcy court, there was plenty of propaganda that its road was paved smoother when Chrysler's bankruptcy supposedly "gave consumers confidence." (It remains to be proven whether either company's bankruptcy "should be an afterthought to car buyers.") But Brand makes two excellent points about GM:

Keep that second point in mind if you think that this bankruptcy move will be a solution to GM's woes. Meanwhile, you're on the hook.

For more, see the Wall Street Journal's "GM Collapses Into Government's Arms" and particularly its main piece, "GM's Bankruptcy: A Saga of Decline, Denial."

Hardly surprising, but see Paul Learton's "This Chart Can Kill Any Bull," which contends that "this bear market is nowhere near over," even though the S&P 500 has rallied more than 20 percent since that magic number of 666 on March 10. Learton writes:

Well, who says he knows? Learton's not claiming to know, but he merely points out:

So why not follow the advice of the blogger known as Everyday Finance? He basically advises that you take no one's advice:

Many of you twenty-somethings — including those who have gravitated to "youth-magnet" cities — have few job prospects, of course, and thus have no money to invest, so you didn't miss anything, and you can just ignore all of the above.

In the aftermath of a market rally that now looks more and more like a "dead-cat bounce" (or a "Seinfeld rally") than a true sign of recovery, the blame game is intensifying.

AIG bonuses, Tim Geithner, Stewart vs. Cramer — that's entertainment. Now we have Barack Obama breaking new ground by becoming the first sitting president to grant an audience to Jay Leno's audience. And why not? Obama is cool and funny.

He's also the first president to fill out his March Madness NCAA brackets for ESPN. The nation's most powerful basketball player didn't just pick a winner, he filled out the whole damn bracket.

While Rome, Wall Street, Congress, and the White House burn. (See Josh Greenman's "The Obama Everywhere gamble.")

So which power center should be voted off the island: Wall Street or Washington?

A crowd of Wall Streeters listening to a debate on the issue this week blamed Washington more than themselves, of course.

But for entertaining quotes, see Nouriel Roubini's take on the debate. (And the transcript.)

Eternally glib, the NYU prof, sometimes known as the "party-boy economist," had this, among other things, to say:

And the recent stock-market rally? That was probably a dead-cat bounce. See Roubini's March 14 piece, "Reflections on the latest dead cat bounce or bear market sucker's rally."

Don't get pissed off, PETA. It's not a real cat, just as it wasn't a real rally. Investopedia gives a succinct definition of that term: "A temporary recovery from a prolonged decline or bear market, after which the market continues to fall."

Madoff: Shoved by the crowd during an earlier perp walk.

Bernie Madoff, who worked the "affinity fraud" angle to the hilt, will officially have no affinity with anyone save his family and Charles Ponzi after he pleads guilty today.

Not even his fellow criminals in prison are likely to feel close to him. Some will blame him for bringing down the world's economy, making life tougher for their families on the outside. Others will see this guy who preyed on others as just another weak, elderly inmate who is easy prey. He can't even count on grudging admiration.

Universal contempt in any language, set to every kind of music. In a stirring anthem coupling a hope for justice with a stern warning to oppressors and other goniffs, the late Peter Tosh used to sing, "Downpressor man, where you gonna run to?..."

No sympathy. Ahead of Madoff's court appearance this morning in Manhattan, the AP's David B. Caruso, in "Victims worry Madoff will take secrets to prison," writes:

Yes, where is the money? That's what I asked on Tuesday ("Madoff charges unveiled -- but where's the fucking money, Dr. Evil?").

The workmanlike AP story sums it up pretty well:

It's not as if prosecutors could even try to figure out some sort of highly unusual way to make him do any trading to repay his victims — in working his scam, he made no trades whatsoever.

So the frustration with Madoff won't abate; it's even more intense because his prison sentence won't accomplish one damn thing. As the AP's Caruso writes:

Madoff, on the other hand, is getting off easy: He'll plead guilty to 11 counts, far less than a billionth of the dollars he stole.

Read Angela's post on the Facebook terms-of-service controversy on her Shiny Door.

The recent brouhaha over Facebook's new terms of service (see Consumerist.com's "Facebook's New Terms Of Service: 'We Can Do Anything We Want With Your Content. Forever.'") simmered down when Facebook backed down.

But don't think that this topic of megamarketing in micromedia will go away.

Today's Wall Street Journal, in "Google to Sell Targeted Ads," tells us:

Yesterday's Washington Post riffed on the controversy over Facebook's creepy legalese that tried to own your info as if a Mormon were committing you to a celestial marriage (including the right to peddle your info to other peddlers) with Brian Solis's "Are Blogs Losing Their Authority to the Statusphere?" (Also take a look at Post columnist Rob Pegoraro's February 19 piece "Facebook Backs Into a 'Bill of Rights.'")

The implications are grave, unless you want your brain turned over to marketers, hucksters, and other profit-makers. In this faltering economy, such electronic carneys are likely to jump at the chance to make money off you whether or not you want them to.

Solis notes one report estimating that 346 million people are reading blogs globally. But hi-tech marches on, and micromedia like Facebook and Twitter are overtaking blogs, as is obvious to those millions of us who find ourselves micro-communing before we even have our morning coffee. Solis adds:

That's not necessarily news, but just wait until various peddlers intrude even more on our lives and make our buy-buy-buy approach to life even more mindless. Everything's competing so much for our attention that we could wind up paying no attention to our becoming more compliant suckers for hucksters. (Again, stating the obvious, but so what?)

Last week, Chris Crum pointed out our changing mores on Web Pro News in "Behavioral Targeting Gaining Public Acceptance."

Carneys, unscrupulous or otherwise, will be glad to hear this from Crum, who quotes a survey by Truste and adds:

Privacy advocates aren't so sanguine, as the above WSJ story on Google's targeted marketing says:

So, on the micromedia front, go ahead and take Facebook's lame "IQ Test" if you want — as long as you know that its real purpose is to extract info about you and how to contact you while charging you money for that privilege. (Read the test's fine print.)

Before Marshall McLuhan was famous, his funny, clever, and insightful October 1947 essay in Horizon, "American Advertising," and his graphic non-novel Mechanical Bride a few years later pointed out — without preachiness — the potential of the suckers' game that marketing was leading us into: limiting your choices and telling you what to buy while making you think you have more choices and are making your own decisions what to buy.

Good luck finding McLuhan's 1947 essay on the web. You can buy that issue of the British magazine Horizon online, of course (I did), or read the essay in a 1957 collection called Mass Culture: The Popular Arts in America.

But I'm one of the few people marketing McLuhan's essay to you, and I won't make a penny by doing so. You may want to read it so that you can be armed — if you even want to be armed — against modern-day micro- and megamedia brainwashing aimed at your wallets.